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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Folks
Trouble
Keep
Regulating
Never
Bothers
Hypocrisy
Conduct
Bother
Straight

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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
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Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.
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Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.
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Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.
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Vanity is a strange passion rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.
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The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is.
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There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
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Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
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What the world wants iz [sic] good examples, not so mutch advice advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.
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