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The books are balanced in heaven, not here.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Heaven
Book
Balanced
Judgment
Books
More quotes by Josh Billings
Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.
Josh Billings
Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
Josh Billings
You cannot analyze a kiss any more than you can dissect the fragrance of flowers.
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Where religion is a trade, morality is a merchandise.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.
Josh Billings
Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
Josh Billings
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
Josh Billings
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying.
Josh Billings
If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.
Josh Billings
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Josh Billings
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
Josh Billings
A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.
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Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
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One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.
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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
Josh Billings