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The books are balanced in heaven, not here.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Balanced
Judgment
Books
Heaven
Book

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Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job.
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Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
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The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.
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[Science is] the literature of truth.
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There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
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Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
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Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
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We should make virtue our master, not our servant.
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Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
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If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.
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Stupidity,--unconscious ignorance.
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Silence never makes any blunders.
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It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
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