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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Brains
Quantity
Intellectual
Worth
Brain
Good
Men
Bowels
Reliable

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Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.
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There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying.
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Pedigrees seldom improve by age the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.
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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
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Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
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Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.
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Threescore years and ten is enough if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
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If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.
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Experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.
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Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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