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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Men
Bowels
Reliable
Brains
Quantity
Intellectual
Worth
Brain
Good

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Ambition is like hunger it obeys no law but its appetite
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Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
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Nature makes all the noblemen wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.
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Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.
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We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
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Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.
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Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
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Fuss is half-sister to hurry, and neither of them can do anything without getting in their own way.
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In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.
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Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.
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