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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Watered
Cows
Milk
Keep
More quotes by Josh Billings
Shame is the dying embers of virtue.
Josh Billings
Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.
Josh Billings
Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
Josh Billings
Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
Josh Billings
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
Josh Billings
Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.
Josh Billings
The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
Josh Billings
We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
Josh Billings
Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
Josh Billings
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Josh Billings
Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners.
Josh Billings
I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
Josh Billings
The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of and that is judgment.
Josh Billings
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Josh Billings
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings
It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
Josh Billings
Pedigrees seldom improve by age the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.
Josh Billings
Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
Josh Billings
To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Josh Billings