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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Watered
Cows
Milk
Keep

More quotes by Josh Billings

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Shame is the dying embers of virtue.
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Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
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The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
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Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
Josh Billings
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As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Josh Billings
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Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners.
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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
Josh Billings
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The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of and that is judgment.
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One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
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As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings
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It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
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Pedigrees seldom improve by age the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.
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Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
Josh Billings
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Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Josh Billings