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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Watered
Cows
Milk
Keep

More quotes by Josh Billings

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Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
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Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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We should make virtue our master, not our servant.
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The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
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There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
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Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
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Pyrotechnically considered, [laughing] is the fire-works of the soul.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.
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It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often it is because there is so much fun n the making up.
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Experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of echo,--babbling gossips of the air.
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Josh Billings