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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Cows
Milk
Keep
Watered
More quotes by Josh Billings
I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
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It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
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The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.
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Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job.
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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
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One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
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Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
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The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
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Young widows still bide their time.
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It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.
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We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
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Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.
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