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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Watered
Cows
Milk
Keep

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Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
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Threescore years and ten is enough if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
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Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners.
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It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.
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When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.
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It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
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People travel to learn most of them before they start should learn to travel.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.
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Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.
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Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.
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[Science is] the literature of truth.
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A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.
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Experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.
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Rumor is like bees the more you fight them the more you don't get rid of them.
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Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
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