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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Cows
Milk
Keep
Watered

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People travel to learn most of them before they start should learn to travel.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.
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Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
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Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
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Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.
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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.
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It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.
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Where religion is a trade, morality is a merchandise.
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