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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Giving
Kind
Men
Advice
Wants
Comedy
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More quotes by Josh Billings
As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.
Josh Billings
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
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Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.
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Occasions are rare and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.
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A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
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Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.
Josh Billings
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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People travel to learn most of them before they start should learn to travel.
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Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Fun is a sugar-coated physic.
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Young widows still bide their time.
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Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.
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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
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Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.
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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
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Vanity is a strange passion rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.
Josh Billings
I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.
Josh Billings
