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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Men
Advice
Wants
Comedy
Comes
Give
Find
Giving
Kind

More quotes by Josh Billings

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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.
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Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.
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Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
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Silence never makes any blunders.
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Titles are valuable they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish.
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Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
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Experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.
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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
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It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.
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Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.
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Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
Josh Billings