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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Men
Advice
Wants
Comedy
Comes
Give
Find
Giving
Kind

More quotes by Josh Billings

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Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.
Josh Billings
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It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
Josh Billings
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Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.
Josh Billings
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Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.
Josh Billings
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Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.
Josh Billings
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The hardest thing any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it's slippery, and get up and praise the Lord.
Josh Billings
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Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.
Josh Billings
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There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
Josh Billings
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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
Josh Billings
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Perseverance is king.
Josh Billings
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You can reach stupidity only with a cannon ball.
Josh Billings
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Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess.
Josh Billings
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Nature makes all the noblemen wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.
Josh Billings
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
Josh Billings
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There is a significant Latin proverb to wit: Who will guard the guards?
Josh Billings
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Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
Josh Billings
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Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners.
Josh Billings
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
Josh Billings
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
Josh Billings
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In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.
Josh Billings