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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Beauty
Woman
Beautiful
Thing
Handy
Handsome
Especially
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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
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Fun is a sugar-coated physic.
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Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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Pyrotechnically considered, [laughing] is the fire-works of the soul.
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Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.
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When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion.
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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
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Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.
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Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.
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Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.
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Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.
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The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it.
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The books are balanced in heaven, not here.
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No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
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The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of and that is judgment.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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