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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Call
William
Poor
Fits
Character
Cat
Men
Fit
Dignity
Name
Called
Fitz
Names
Shorter
More quotes by Josh Billings
Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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Pyrotechnically considered, [laughing] is the fire-works of the soul.
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Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.
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One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
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A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
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Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
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There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.
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The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
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Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.
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If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the beginning.
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There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.
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If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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