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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Savage
Firsts
Savages
First
Hath
Trying
Charm
Beast
Humorous
Revolver
Funny
Soothe
Music

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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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Fun is a sugar-coated physic.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.
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It is easy to assume a habit but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
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We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
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Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
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Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
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Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.
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Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
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The books are balanced in heaven, not here.
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As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.
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the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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