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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Funny
Inspirational
Thief
Stills
Procrastination
Still
Thieves
Ever
Produced
Life
Large
World
Motivational
Greatest

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The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
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Nature makes all the noblemen wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
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There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.
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Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
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The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
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There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.
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