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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Greatest
Funny
Inspirational
Thief
Stills
Procrastination
Still
Thieves
Ever
Produced
Life
Large
World
Motivational

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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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What the world wants iz [sic] good examples, not so mutch advice advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.
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The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
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Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.
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There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.
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Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
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Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.
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Experience makes more timid men than it does wise ones.
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It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often it is because there is so much fun n the making up.
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The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
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Take the humbug out of this world, and you haven't much left to do business with.
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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
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It is easy to assume a habit but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
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We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.
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Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
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About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
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Titles are valuable they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish.
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