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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Sweeten
Maids
Scandal
Tea

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The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
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Vanity is a strange passion rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.
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Advice maybe wrong, but examples prove themselves.
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Early genius, like early cabbage, does not head well.
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A witty writer is like a porcupine his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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Threescore years and ten is enough if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
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There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.
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Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.
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