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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Full
Age
Home
Hits
Good
Aging
Think
Fifty
Thinking
Horror
Cry
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
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One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
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Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.
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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
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There's tons of people that spend a lot time watching their well being, they have not acquired time to take pleasure in it.
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We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.
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Young widows still bide their time.
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The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
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A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
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Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
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The books are balanced in heaven, not here.
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People travel to learn most of them before they start should learn to travel.
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[Science is] the literature of truth.
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The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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