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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Thinking
Horror
Cry
Stay
Full
Age
Home
Hits
Good
Aging
Think
Fifty

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Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
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There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.
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Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.
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When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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We should make virtue our master, not our servant.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.
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Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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Method is the arithmetic of success.
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Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.
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The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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Experience makes more timid men than it does wise ones.
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