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Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Short
Wants
Funny
Enough
Long
Men
Ruin
Life
Ruined
Ruins

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Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.
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Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.
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Take the humbug out of this world, and you haven't much left to do business with.
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Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.
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If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
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[Science is] the literature of truth.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
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Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
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We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.
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Early genius, like early cabbage, does not head well.
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As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
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It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
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Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
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Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.
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Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor.
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The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.
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