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Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Wants
Funny
Enough
Long
Men
Ruin
Life
Ruined
Ruins
Short

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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
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Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
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Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of echo,--babbling gossips of the air.
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Young widows still bide their time.
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The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.
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Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
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Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.
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The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse.
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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
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Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.
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It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
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Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
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Threescore years and ten is enough if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
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The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
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the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
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It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often it is because there is so much fun n the making up.
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About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
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Fun is a sugar-coated physic.
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