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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Alive
Think
Thinking
Judaic
Religions
Greek
Dead

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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller