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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Judaic
Religions
Greek
Dead
Alive
Think
Thinking

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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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