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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Looks
Upon
Right
Everyone
Work
Difficult
Way
Death
Canal
Else
Canals
Seems
Root
Look
Roots
Come
Couldn

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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller