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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Promises
Promise
Upon
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs
Safely
More quotes by Joseph Heller
I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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