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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs
Safely
Promises
Promise
Upon

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Insanity is contagious.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller