Quote

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Promises
Promise
Upon
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs
Safely

More quotes by Joseph Heller

Image
He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
Joseph Heller
Image
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
Image
They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
Joseph Heller
Image
If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
Joseph Heller
Image
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
Image
Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
Joseph Heller
Image
I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
Joseph Heller
Image
The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
Joseph Heller
Image
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
Image
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Joseph Heller
Image
Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
Joseph Heller
Image
I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
Joseph Heller
Image
I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller
Image
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller
Image
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
Image
Rise above principal and do what's right.
Joseph Heller
Image
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Image
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller
Image
¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
Joseph Heller
Image
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller