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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Promises
Promise
Upon
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs
Safely

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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And anything worth dying for
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
Joseph Heller