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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Upon
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs
Safely
Promises
Promise

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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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