Quote

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Safely
Promises
Promise
Upon
Women
Like
Relied
Maniacs

More quotes by Joseph Heller

Image
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
Image
Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
Joseph Heller
Image
...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
Joseph Heller
Image
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
Image
Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
Joseph Heller
Image
The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
Joseph Heller
Image
History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
Joseph Heller
Image
Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
Joseph Heller
Image
I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
Joseph Heller
Image
And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller
Image
All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
Joseph Heller
Image
What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
Image
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
Image
Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
Joseph Heller
Image
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
Joseph Heller
Image
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Joseph Heller
Image
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
Image
It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
Joseph Heller
Image
I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
Image
I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
Joseph Heller