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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Laws
Ignorance
Aren
Law
Doesn
Immutable
Nature
Paranoid
Mean
Promote
Mind
Minds

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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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