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Everybody is as unstable as water.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Unstable
Everybody
Water

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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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