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If character is destiny, the good are damned.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Damned
Destiny
Character
Good

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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Insanity is contagious.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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