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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Would
Flippant
Fortunately
Subject
Sacred
Subjects
Write
Writing
More quotes by Joseph Heller
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
Joseph Heller
I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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A man's head is his castle.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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