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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Would
Flippant
Fortunately
Subject
Sacred
Subjects
Write
Writing

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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A man's head is his castle.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller