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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Fortunately
Subject
Sacred
Subjects
Write
Writing
Would
Flippant

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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And anything worth dying for
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller