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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Time
Miracles
Miracle
Since
Long
Believe

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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
Joseph Heller