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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Erogenous
Zones
Nowhere
Zone
Everywhere
Either
Body
More quotes by Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
Joseph Heller
I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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Insanity is contagious.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
Joseph Heller
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Joseph Heller
Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
Joseph Heller
I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
Joseph Heller
