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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Earth
Mean
Would
Civilization
Peace
Ends

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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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