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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Closing
Line
Lines
Start
Writing

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Joseph Heller
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
Joseph Heller
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller