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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Running
Else
Thing
Long
Predictably
Accidental
Worked
Failure

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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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