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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Much
Mercy
Imagination
Though
Understand
Process

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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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And anything worth dying for
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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