Quote

Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.

Joseph Heller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Things
Sort
Like
Getting
Universe
Give
Straightened
Persons
Deserves
Person
Exactly
Might
Deserve
Giving
Confidence

More quotes by Joseph Heller

Image
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
Image
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
Image
And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller
Image
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
Image
Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
Image
A man's head is his castle.
Joseph Heller
Image
Everybody is as unstable as water.
Joseph Heller
Image
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
Image
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
Image
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Joseph Heller
Image
where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
Joseph Heller
Image
Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
Joseph Heller
Image
History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
Joseph Heller
Image
For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
Joseph Heller
Image
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller
Image
If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
Joseph Heller
Image
It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
Joseph Heller
Image
I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller
Image
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
Image
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller