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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Feel
Feels
Dead

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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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And anything worth dying for
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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