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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Military
Wells
Well
Feel
Feels
Damned
Way
Certainly
Fool
Wouldn

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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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