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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Well
Feel
Feels
Damned
Way
Certainly
Fool
Wouldn
Military
Wells

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
Joseph Heller