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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Unfit
Examined
Thoroughly
Discovered
Service
Military
Pretty
Funny

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
Joseph Heller