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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Thoroughly
Discovered
Service
Military
Pretty
Funny
Unfit
Examined

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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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