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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Pretty
Funny
Unfit
Examined
Thoroughly
Discovered
Service
Military

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller