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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Matter
Anybody
Going
Side
Sides
Enemy
Wisdom
Peace
War
Killed
Death
Suicide
More quotes by Joseph Heller
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
A man's head is his castle.
Joseph Heller
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
Joseph Heller
mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Joseph Heller
I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller
Rise above principal and do what's right.
Joseph Heller
Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
Joseph Heller
What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
Joseph Heller
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller
I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller