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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Death
Suicide
Matter
Anybody
Going
Side
Sides
Enemy
Wisdom
Peace
War
Killed
More quotes by Joseph Heller
I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Joseph Heller
For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
Joseph Heller
And anything worth dying for
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Insanity is contagious.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
Joseph Heller