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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Stars
Night
Men
Saddened
Sky
Looked

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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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A man's head is his castle.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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