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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Moral
Courageous
Character
Ideal
Persons
Ideals
Person
Intelligent
Great
Appreciate
Position
Stand
Taken

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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And anything worth dying for
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
Joseph Heller