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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Stand
Taken
Moral
Courageous
Character
Ideal
Persons
Ideals
Person
Intelligent
Great
Appreciate
Position

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
Joseph Heller
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
Joseph Heller
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller