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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Lady
Couldn
Death
Keep
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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Insanity is contagious.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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