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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Wants
Maybe
Seems
Unpleasant
Doe
Event
Many
Filled
Long
Conditions
Life
Seem
Events

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A man's head is his castle.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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Insanity is contagious.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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